


Plants and Pillories

by MrsMoosie, NannySnakeEyes



Series: Celestial Observations [11]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Azrael is Aziraphale, M/M, Raphael is Crowley, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26544274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsMoosie/pseuds/MrsMoosie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NannySnakeEyes/pseuds/NannySnakeEyes
Summary: Raphael finds himself in a compromising position, and in need of some assistance.
Relationships: Azrael/Raphael (Ineffable Opposites)
Series: Celestial Observations [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888438
Comments: 3
Kudos: 86





	Plants and Pillories

**Author's Note:**

> This was an amazing collaboration with nannysnakeeyes! You’re such a doll. 😍 This is both of our first times doing a a collaboration. She provided the art, I provided this here snippet.
> 
> Also. Thank you to DianaCrimsonia as always for letting us borrow your wee lads!

  
  
Raphael found himself in quite a compromising position, and was not thrilled. It was the mid 1640’s, and he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had his head and hands stuck into a pillory. His gorgeous orange hair fell around his face, sparkling in the sun, though it was a bit matted from his current abhorrent treatment. He found he was getting quite frustrated with these humans. He was just trying to help!

“Honestly if you’d just listen to me.” He sighed for what seemed like the fiftieth time, “Herbs like spearmint and thyme can be very beneficial to your health!”

“You use them in your spells!”

“Your potions of Satan!”

“Witch!”

Raphael rolled his eyes and looked off to the side with a grumble. They called him a witch! He had a luscious herb garden growing and told  _ one _ villager how he used the herbs for healing. Now he was about to be discorporated. How absurd.

“But thyme can be used for cooking!”

“Witch!”

“But…!” Raphael tried to adjust in the pillory and found his extremities falling asleep, his back hurting. He couldn’t use a miracle with so many humans around shouting at him. He knew that it was getting out of hand with the witch hunts, but this was just ridiculous.

“Well, well. What have we here.”

Raphael jumped at the familiarity of the sound, and winced as his neck hit the wood sharply. 

“Azrael…” He looked over and gave him a once over before he rolled his eyes, “Oh, Mother, what are you even wearing?”

Azrael had appeared, dressed in executioners garb. It was a long black hooded robe, complete with an axe in hand. His face had been covered, but he lifted a flap in the front to reveal himself.

“Got yourself in trouble already, Sunshine?”

“What do you mean, ‘already’? I’ve been stationed up here for almost a century! I was tending to my herb garden and this… fiasco happened.” Raphael huffed, turning away. Azrael leaned against his axe and started to inspect his nails, bored.

“Just perform a miracle and move along.”

“What? No! There are so many humans watching, I can’t knowingly do something like that with so many!”

“So you’re going to stand here, very uncomfortable, and let them throw things at you.”

“They’re going to throw things?!” Raphael balked, “Oh, this is such a nightmare…” 

“I’d say.” Azrael moved around behind the captured Archangel, maybe taking a quick glance over his pert little bum sticking out. He came around to the other side and slammed the axe’s handle down before he bent down to Raphael’s eye level.

“Can you maybe help me?” Raphael offered a smile, hoping it was enough.

“What’s in it for me?”

“Sorry?” Raphael frowned, feeling his cheeks redden at the closeness, “I um… For you?”

“I’d be rescuing you…  _ again _ , Sunshine.” Azrael stood and leaned against his axe, “I think some compensation is in order? I hate to have to swing this thing. So primitive.”

“Oh…” Raphael frowned and took this in. Compensation? He did seem to be getting caught up in things lately- not his fault, of course. Humans were getting brutal! He pondered a moment, adjusting his legs that were quite tired.

“Can… Can I interest you in an original copy of ‘The Magical Treatise of Solomon’? It’s quite complicated, the translation and all but-“

“Tempting me with a Grimoire? I like that.” Azrael smirked, eyebrows raising.

“No! Well... Yes. I’ve been holding onto the original manuscripts because of the astronomical pieces and it also discusses various uses of plants and herbs, you see, which led me to this mess here, and-“

“Sunshine…”

“Azrael?” Big blue eyes blinked innocently at him.

“Can we discuss this when you’re not about to be beheaded?” 

Azrael gave a quick  _ snap _ , bringing them both away from the center of chaos and back into Raphael’s small home on the edge of the woods. He decided to leave the axe behind to fall on some other poor bloke’s neck.

“Ah!” Raphael beamed, looking around happily, he rubbed at his neck and wrists, “Thank you, darling!”

“You could have done that.” Azrael shrugged, “I at least got a rather good deal, though.”

Raphael looked down at his ragged garb and wrinkled his nose. He gave a quick wave and changed into something much more comfortable, and clean for that matter. Once in ordinary clothing, he made his way to a shelf that was stacked high with books, long fingers running over the spines and contemplating. Grimoire… Grimoire…

“I have it here... ah.” Raphael plucked a book down carefully, stroking over the cover, “I  _ had _ been saving this for a better occasion, but I do believe that I came across this about one hundred years ago or so.” 

Raphael handed the book out, sparkling brightly. Azrael looked at the book and his own eyes lit up in curiosity.

“Raphael this isn’t…”

“It was a work in progress when it was given to me but I think… this would be better in your hands.”

“Given to you?”

“Well…” Raphael flushed and looked at the book, “I have the original manuscripts, and I’ve been rewriting and trying to translate it all over. It’s quite difficult to draw demonic symbols and not summon demons at the same time… But to better understand the opposition, I’ve taken it upon myself to put this book together. Now that I’ve completed it, I’d like you to have it.”

“Sunshine, you…”

“Translated a Grimoire… and did quite a bit of smiting, yes.”

Azrael’s hands lifted and he placed one on the bottom of the book, the other stroking over the top cover thoughtfully. He finally looked up into Raphael’s shining eyes and felt something. His stomach did a flip, his heart skipped a beat, his brain shut down. He didn’t even know his body could do that.

“Heaven didn’t even check on you?”

“Nonsense… They know all the witch business that’s going on right now. The Colonies in America are particularly troublesome right now, and I really don’t want to go there. The more work I do here, the more I get to stay here!”

“I’m impressed.”

Raphael beamed at the praise and looked down at his hands still holding the book. His pulse was quickening, and he knew the sparks glittering around him were out of control. He only closed his eyes a moment before he felt it. 

Those large, warm hands covered his own gently, holding them against the book. Raphael felt his face turn bright red and he absolutely glowed, brighter than the sun. 

“Azrael… What…?”

Azrael leaned in, placing a soft kiss to Raphael’s cheek. He lingered only a moment beside him.

“Thank you, My Star.” He whispered, before taking a step back. Raphael was blushing furiously and he slid his hands away from the book.

“Do… Do you want the original mah- manuscripts? I um… I can-“

“Next time…” Azrael held the book to his side and lifted his other hand, giving a snap. Just like that, he was gone, with hardly even a goodbye. Raphael stared at the empty spot and lifted a hand to touch his cheek where those soft lips had touched. Then he lifted the other so he was cupping his face and swooned.

“Oh Mother!” He sighed, eyes closing happily. He wasn’t honestly sure he’d wash his cheek again, “Oh Azrael…” He whispered. He felt like a blushing maiden kissed by a gallant knight, and thought it a very appropriate comparison.

Outside of the small home, in the distance, two large amber eyes kept watch from an old oak tree. Beside the dark owl, sat a most important book, from an Angel he’d never allow too far out of his sight again.

**Author's Note:**

> Find nannysnakeeyes on IG as @nannysnakeeyes and Tumblr at nanny-snake-eyes
> 
> Find me on IG @mrsmoosie35 and tumblr at MrsMoosie


End file.
